First, I no longer remember what it is to seek after that connection. I still remember what I did, and a shadow of how it felt, but the acute longing that forced me time and again to put my heart on the line is gone.
Second, when I think logically about why I would want to be in a relationship, beyond wanting a family of my own, I see that it offers very little. Having a boyfriend would make it no easier to deal with my B.B. Problem, nor would it add purpose to my mundane employment.
Thirdly, relationships are very messy and never a one was ideal. They are painful as any operation, though hopefully under the anaesthesia of endorphins and googly-eyes. At the same time knowing that bitterness, whether alone or married, can eat away at one's contentedness. Each person must think their marriage ideal, and work to make it so.
In conclusion I would like to say, if you had a year to live, would you spend it the way I would?
My point exactly.
this makes me smile
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