Ephesians 5

¹⁴ for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says,

“Awake, O sleeper,
    and arise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”

¹⁵ Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, ¹⁶ making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. ¹⁷ Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

I love this passage, but I've struggled with the phrasing and the application. I get excited, thinking, yes, I'd love to arise from the dead and have Christ's light shine and then live in this way... "Do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." Then I get here and it's sort of a let-down. Just understand? If I don't understand how do I start to? This has been my block for the past few years, knowing this is pivotal and not being able to get past it. But just recently it has been revealed at least partly. He gives the practice in the previous verses: watch your walk, be wise, use time well. Therefore, when you act like this, you will be able to understand what the will of the Lord is.

Secondly, "the days are evil". this is the 'because' that leads to the 'therefore'. I think it has 2 reasons for the particular wording. We live in evil days, and some translations just write it that way because it seems simpler. I think the other aspect here is that the days are literally evil. and this is a little hazier, but I think time is a characteristic of the fallen world. So the days and the time is working against us as Christians, in the hands of the evil one. There is never enough time to study, to work, to see friends, so Sunday is for God, if that. In other translations it says "redeeming the time..." which is good because it makes the implication that time is not good in itself, it needs to be redeemed... because the days are evil. Therefore the will of the Lord is that you would walk carefully in his ways and redeem time, all time, every day, so that Christ will not only shine on you, but in you and through you, so that all that is darkness can be made light.

¹⁸ And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, ¹⁹ addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, ²⁰ giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,²¹ submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Give thanks ALWAYS and for EVERYTHING?!! (emphasis added) that's a lot of the time and things to be thanking God for. I'm pretty sure that's all of both actually. Praise be to God.

I don't know if everyone experiences this and they just don't talk about it, but when I look at a person and talk to them, I am overwhelmed by grief for the pain in their souls. Take Alice for example, she is devastated because she's had a string of boyfriends- she's only 17- and none of them have wanted to stick around. So she's wondering what's wrong with her to make them all leave. Meanwhile, all her friends are "dating". They all seem happy. Thing is, they all feel the same way. Their looking at her thinking, boy is she lucky, 'cause all they can think is "when's this guy gonna leave me too?" And they are trying to find a way to make him stay, but they've already given him everything they have, so then maybe they use guilt and manipulation, and they are desperately unhappy but at least they're not single. Because two is better than one. Now Buddy over here's girlfriend is going crazy, and he doesn't know why, and the itch to leave is killing him, but he doesn't want to be like his dad. See his dad left too, and he wants to be different, but he doesn't know why his girl's acting like this, and there's another girl throwing herself at him, 'cause she's jealous of what that girl seems to have and she thinks he deserves better. She could be better for him, if only she could get his attention... I see all this pain when I look at Alice, and others, and just want to cry, and hug her and tell her she's worth more and there is more to life. And I want so, so badly to be right about that.

I was once in love. He was relatively tall, relatively blonde and completely perfect. He was quiet and it took him a long time to open up to me. He told me some of his dreams and hopes, likes and dislikes. We laughed together. He occupied 90% of my thoughts. He made me want to be better, to deserve him. It all ended like a car wreck, on a picturesque bridge. I told him I loved him, he told me he was sorry. and then he drove off into the sunset alone, in his absurdly cool car.

            I was on tenterhooks for a while. It took a very, very long time to recover. I had thought it wasn't possible for someone to feel as strongly as I did and the other person to feel nothing. Romantic love is dangerously over-rated. How long has it been popular for people to choose their own partner? maybe 2 centuries at the outside. What has it done for us? Adults are always explaining that the passion fades, yet the youth and the culture still want to believe in the happily ever after of love. Young, nubile humans are the least equipped to choose a life partner, and we are leaving it in their incapable hands, when all the evidence points to this being folly.

            Arranged marriages can be awful, but they often have more love 10 years in than that of their contemporaries. The fact is, when the expectation is set for love to last forever, the lovers will be constantly disappointed. When you start out in fear and with hopes but no expectations, you are probably not going to be taking anything for granted. You might even feel blessed for whatever good you can find in the person, and them in you.

            Besides, now we are having to invent new ways to match-make ourselves, bars and clubs, online dating, Christian youth conferences, etc. It's extremely difficult to meet someone of your age and interests, just going about daily life. And when one does meet someone, they are not in a environment or situation for their friends and family to effectively judge and weigh in on the couples compatibility. Most married people would admit that their parents and friends were better judges of their spouse in the dating phase. Yet it is frowned upon to try to share your feelings with the young fools. They have no idea what they're in for. They've been happily hanging out, making out, and fighting it out, and they think the next 50 years will go likewise. But dating is the most fake situation you can be in. Other than maybe LARPing. Do yourself a favour and let someone else pick your spouse for you. And honestly, ask your parents, or some adult you trust what they think about your relationship, because they probably have a more accurate picture of it than you.