Singleness

The unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit.

1 Corinthians 7:34a

            There is a vast, renewable resource in North America that has been largely passed over. 'Adolescence' is considered the transitional stage from childhood to adulthood. Some might say that it is not a necessary stage to go through, that it is superfluous and should be done away with. That is surely a bit extreme, it should simply be over in a matter of seconds. The rut that is created by the establishment of this demographic, neither youth nor adult, is an ever-deepening one. 13-19 years of age may seem justifiable, yet why not 21? ...29? The reason this rut is a rut and not something more pleasant, like a reservoir, is that there is little or no productivity coming from the people in this category. They are just figuring things out, their future career, their sexual orientation, their political and economic identity... Excellence in this age group is the exception, with no impetus for emulation.

            The amount of free time a young adult has is rarely achievable at any other age. Older people have responsibilities like families, that are certainly worthy of their time. What aged person has not looked back and cursed themselves for the opportunities they passed by in youth? The first obstacle to time management is a lack of self discipline. Discipline may not have been administered in childhood, or perhaps over-zealously inflicted, so that one may think, "That discipline business is a load of rot, I shall simply not use it." Which leads to debt piling, relationships failing, classes flunking and other undesirable, but not immediately felt consequences. It is all too easy to live in this culture without any painful results for acting foolishly. At what other time is it not only acceptable, but common practice, to quit a job on a whim and move back to one's parents, or fall back on employment insurance? Most grow to understand the necessity of discipline in achieving success, but few ever embrace it as the blessing it is.

            Another dangerous habit of adolescents that is encouraged everywhere is the desire to have endless strings of romantic entanglements. The scars left behind will probably not be realized for years, but when found they are indelible. Why do the older, wiser generations not tell of this trauma to the ones that can still avoid it? Multiple relationships teach the way to get over heartbreak, it does not in any way increase one's ability to love a spouse. That is best learned by amateurs. Love comes naturally to humans, practicing it on numerous partners adds nothing to it.

            It is also unproductive, and often destructive to entertain close friendships with the opposite sex. It may seem nice to have a sibling-figure, but at risk of stating the obvious, people can't be a sibling to others unless they are their sibling.

            What should be done in this time? Caring for others, volunteering, throwing one's self into schooling or a career, saving money, all things uniquely possible at this age. A huge group of people written off from contributing to society, who are inimitably gifted to do so. And all these things practice self-discipline and set up good habits for success in adulthood. How much better could a marriage be if both partners had been practicing selflessness for years? And just as a bonus, imagine neither of them have had previous relationships, so they are working with a blank slate. Blank slates are much easier to learn on. On the other hand, if one never marries, but has created good habits instead of bad, they probably will not wake up at 35 feeling like they have not accomplished anything. They will most likely realize that they have built a model of how the rest of their life can go.