Sherlock Holmes on women:

"and yet the motives of women are so inscrutable. you remember the woman at margate whom i suspected for the same reason. no powder on her nose - that proved to be the correct solution. how can you build on such a quicksand? their most trivial action may mean volumes, or their most extraordinary conduct may depend upon a hairpin or a curling-tongs." -sherlock holmes, the adventure of the second stain.

Dear Mr. Holmes,

I should very much like to inquire as to your confirmed bachelorhood. were you a real person i should think we two to be well matched in every ways. i would be interested to listen to you ramble about the intricacies of crime to no end. I would not oppose your use of cocaine, unless you felt cared for by my objections. i would appreciate your genius, and i flatter myself in thinking you may appreciate mine. I would write up our adventures in a far better way than dear Watson, but we should keep him around as an entertainment.

i shall call at 6 after the evening meal if that is compatible with your schedule to discuss the attractions of my proposal.

sincerely yours,

rachael agnes of cambridge and wales or some such English land.